Bullies are not really brave. Deep inside, they are cowards. However, you do have to be brave to stand up to a bully.

There are many types of bullies and you will meet them in different places all your life. So, its a good idea to start learning how to deal with them now.

The best way to avoid being bullied is to learn to avoid being a target. Try not to give the bully an easy victim. Be the type of person that a bully would like to avoid. Look the bully in the eye and use a strong voice. That bully may decide that you are not someone he or she wants to pick on. Work on building good self esteem. If you feel confident inside yourself, you won’t look like a victim and it will be easier to stand up for your rights. Develop ties with friends and family. That way, you will not be as isolated. Finally, you should stick up for other kids who are being bullied. That way, people will see that you are not the type of person who puts up with bullies. Besides, the person you help, may do the same for you in the future.

It would be nice if this would eliminate bullying. Unfortunately, even if you do your best to avoid being a target, someone will still try to bully you. What do you do then?

Remember that you always have some choices. Usually, you should stand up to the bully and not give in. There are a few exceptions that we will mention at the end of this article. If people are using unkind words to tease you, try act as if it does not bother you. Go over a mental list of your good qualities. If ignoring is not enough, try to use humor to calm things down. Change the subject to something else that might interest everybody. If you think that a bully might be planning to bother you again, hang around with your friends, so you are not an isolated target. If you sense that you are in physical danger, get away as fast as possible. Yell for people to help you.

Bullies sometimes try to threaten you into keeping things a secret. This is not a good idea. Tell a trusted adult. This person may be able to help you out of the situation.

If you really feel that you are in physical danger, give the bully what he or she wants. Your safety is more important than money or a nice jacket. However, try not to get in a car or go to an isolated place with this person.

With self confidence and some common sense, you should be able to avoid most problems with bullies.

Carol E. Watkins, MD